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JACK AND THE THREE STEERS

Jack and his mother, they was without of flour and nothing to eat. So he says, "Mama," he says, "I believe I can make it and get us something to eat." And he headed off. She let him go. Looked like it was just have to go; peat was on the table. And so he headed off and got lost in the woods -- dark woods -- dark in the daytime. And so it come night on him, and it let in raining. And finally at last, he kept crawling and pulling around in the woods, and he looked and he seed a little light down in a holler, a-shining, and a little dim, way down in a lonesome holler through the dark, and hit a-raining. And so he kept pulling and got there.

And when he got there he pecked on the door, and hit a-dripping off of the house and wet. And a little woman come out. She said, "Great..." said, "Law me!" Said, "What is you a-doing here?" Said, "This is the highway robbers' house." And says, "Son," says, "they kill everybody that comes here." Says, "They say 'dead men tells no tales'."

Well, he stood there and talked with her awhile in the rain, and he was a-getting so wet, and he says, "Well, bedad," he says, "I'm a-coming in! I'd just as soon die, be killed, as to drowned out here." She says, "Well," says, "come on in then," said, "just as you please." And there was a little pile of straw was a-laying over in the room. Don't know what they had it there for, but a little pile of straw. And, so, he was wet and drowsy, and he went over and laid down in that little pile of straw, and he got warm and went off to sleep.

And, up in at midnight, the robbers had come in with their stuff and put their guns out on the table and was a-dividing it -- what money they'd got and other stuff. And so, Jack kindly rousted and made a mumble of a fuss. They says, "What's that, old lady?" "Oh," she says, "I forgot to tell you'uns." Said, "It was a little old boy come in." Says, "I told him that you'uns would kill him, but he said... he said he'd just as soon be killed as to drown out there in the rain." And said, "He just come on in."

And he said, "Well," says, "get up." Says, "What's your name?" He says, "My name's Jack." Said, "Well," said, "we kill everybody that comes here." Said, "Dead people tells no tales."

Well, Jack was ragged and looked pitiful, and he says, "Well," he says, "I ain't got nothing." He says, "You'uns is robbers, no doubt, and a-robbing for what you get, but," said, "if you rob me you don't get... kill me you don't get nothing." Says, "Me and my mother is without of anything to eat, is why I'm out like this."

Well, they got to looking at him and got sort of sorry for him. And they said, "Jack, do you reckon you would be a good hand to steal?" He said, "Bedad, a man ought to be a good hand," he said, "if it would save his life!" "Well," they said, "it could save it." Says, "There's an old farmer back over yonder," he said, "some way he's... that he watches his stuff, and it's come out where you're here and you can do the job for us." Said... said, "We've tried every way." They said, "He's got three steers," and said, "we've tried every way to steal them, but," said, "we can't get them." And said, "We was a-figuring on trying it tomorrow, but," said, "being you've happened out to be here, we'll... if you'll get them for us," said, "we'll give you three hundred dollars apiece and spare your life. Well," said, "now in the morning he'll be a-taking the first one to town."

Well so, Jack got up a-feeling awful bad about it; his heart was a-beating up in his neck, still thinking that he was a-going to be killed -- he would fail. So, he went down by the lower end of the house, and the robbers had had a calf or something tied down there, and had forgot and left the rope. So he just snatched the rope off of the pin and wrapped it around him and went on down to the old road where he was a-driving the ox to town to sell it, and he looked up and seed a stooping tree. And he says, "Ah, bedad," he says, "I might fool that old man and not have to hurt nobody to get that steer." And, account of the robbers being in that country, struck his mind, too. So he clumb... climbed this stooping tree over the road and rolled the rope around him and fixed it, and got it around his neck like he was hung. And hung there, and the old farmer come along, "Sook, Buck, saw, Buck, let's get to town." And he got on around that turn where Jack was there a-hanging like that, and he looked -- says, "Law me!" Says, "I'll not get to town today." Says, "Hit'll be a funeral!" And says, "No doubt that them robbers has hung a boy, and it's out of my settlement." And says, "I better just tie my ox and get back and get my neighbors and get him down, and (it will) be a funeral, in place of going to town." Said, "I'll just tie him here, now, and I'll get him directly."

Well, he tied his ox and struck back and told it all over the community there was a boy hung there, and had about fifty or a hundred men a-going with him, that the robbers had hung a boy in a tree, and had them all alarmed.

And so Jack, just as quick as he got out of sight, untied and got the steer and struck up to the robbers', and was back with it in about two or three hours. And the robbers said, "Good gracious," they said, "you're the beatingest hand to steal that's ever been on this job!" Said, "You're a-doing well." He said, "Bedad, a man has to do something, if it will save his life." And he said, "I don't believe in hurting nobody." "Well," they said, the next one... you'll go with the next one in the morning." And Jack laid and never slept too much. He was worried, a-studying yet, it was two to go, and didn't know how he would get them.

So, he got up the next morning, and there laid a brand new woman's slipper where they'd dropped it on the floor. And (it is)[88] said, some way he just snatched it and just put it in his pocket. And said, he got down to the road and set down. And said, directly he heared the old farmer a-coming with the second one. "Sook, Buck, saw, Buck, let's get to town before the market closes." And said, he heared him a-coming pretty close and he just eased out and throwed that slipper in the road.

And the old farmer come up and said, "Saw, Buck! Saw, Buck!" Looked, and picked it up, and said, "Law me!" Said, "There's a brand new slipper them robbers has lost." Said, "If I had the mate to that," he said, "I believe they'd be exactly to fit for my old lady." Said, "Just her fit, no doubt." Said, "Just looks like her size. But," said, "they've lost it, and it wouldn't be any use without the mate to it."

Well, so he throws it back down, and don't take it with him. And, "Sook, Buck, let's get to town," and started on. And Jack just went out and grabbed it. And he forgot to notice which foot it went on, never paid any attention. And Jack took a near-cut through the woods, about a mile ahead, and set it in front of him again.

Said, "Sook, Buck, saw, Buck!" Said, "Law me!" Says, "Hain't I a fool!" Says, "There is the mate to that shoe, and me a mile on this-a-way." Said, "Hain't I a fool!" Says, "I ought to have put the other one in my pocket." Says, "They've lost one back there and they've lost the other one here."

So he said, "Saw, Buck," and tied him, and grabbed that one up and run back to get the other one, and got mistaken in which place the other one was laying and got excited so, and them a-being new, till they said he run there nearly till twelve before he quit running, his tongue a-hanging out. And by that time, Jack had that one and was in to the robbers. And him a-running yet with his tongue a-hanging out, saying, "It looked like it was right here, where I seed that slipper. No, it was up there." And he'd run there. "No, I believe it was that turn right back down yonder." And just run, they said, that his tongue was a-hanging out, before he give up. And then, when he went back, his steer was gone.

Well, they said, "Great, Jack! You're the beatingest!" Said, "You've done made six hundred already, and a-saving your life! Well," they said, "now, in the morning, is the third one." Said, "You bring hit and we'll give you nine hundred bucks and your life is saved. We won't hurt you; just to keep your mouth shut about us."

Well, so Jack goes back and just sets down, and he can't figure on ary a thing to get that one with, the heart beating in his neck. And, finally at last, he heared him a-coming. "Sook, Buck, saw, Buck; get to town." Said he had to think of something or he was gone. Said it just happened to think, fly in his mind, that he could get up in the laurel and bawl like two oxens, two steers, and get him up in there after him and dodge him like a rabbit. And he just went up in the laurel. "Moo, maw! Moo, maw!"

"Just as I expected; they just got loose!" And says, "I'll get up in there and catch the other two, and just take them all three on to market today." Said, "Just what I thought! They just got loose!"

And so, he got up in there after Jack, and he'd jump across thick laurel and keep him after him, and, "Moo!" on one ridge, "moo!" "Yeah, that's them," he'd say. And then, directly -- Jack was awful; he'd rabbit hunted a lot -- and he give him a dodge like a rabbit and got him tangled with his britches under some thick laurel, and the spikes in his britches, and him there a-pulling and hung up. And he jumped out and got the steer and took out, and while he was a-getting out of them green briars and laurel and stuff, and got on in. And they paid him the nine hundred, and he went back. And said him and his mother lived good for then awhile.


 
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